July 25, 2011

Well, This Weekend Sure Was A Doozy

Salam all,

I think I’m going to be one of those apologetic bloggers, cringing from the dismay of my imaginary readers. Eh, whatevs, yo. But I sorry for not posting.

You see, my weekend started Wed afternoon when I called my doctor cuz I felt like $hit. Without telling you the cry-me-a-river story of why I felt so terrible, my doc became alarmed and told me to shuttle my @$$ to her office. Moral of the story, don’t wait until you feel like dying and your boss asks you why you’re behind on your workload to call your doc.

So I call in sick and visit the doc on Thursday. She sees me within 5 min of me walking in, which is absolutely unheard of in her office, which has a minimum wait time of an hour, no matter what time you show up. She attends to me personally, instead of her seemingly endless supply of assistants. For the first time in the three years that I’ve had this doc, it’s the first time I brought my mom and I realized that my doc knows me better than I realized while they were chitchatting. Who knew that doctors paid attention to their patients’ personalities? I always thought she thought I was neurotic, as I’d always show up to her office once a year with a written list of complaints. I’m precious, I know.

Eventually, the doc poked and prodded me with a bajillion needles and performed an EKG, too. Ha, I was for real sick, who knew? I thought I could power through it on my own. Cuz I’m precious, remember? Well, whatever hocus pocus the doc did worked, as I feel much much better now.

So the doc said don’t go to work and just REST. So I RESTED. The rest of Thursday and alllllll day Friday. I got bored of resting by Friday so I thought to myself, “Hey fool, you have some monopoly money, go get that bra-fitting that you’ve always wanted. You can also use the opportunity to break up with ur boyfriend. Go for it!” And so I did. I bought three fabulous new bras and broke up with my boyfriend in a mall parking lot. So classy, I know. Don’t most chicks who buy lingerie intend to, oh, I don’t know, KEEP their boyfriends? Meh, I do what I gotta and I’ll post the details later.

Saturday, my baby bro drags me out of bed because I have to help him buy a shirt and tie for a wedding he’s attending that afternoon. That he knew about for months. Months. Brothers. He made me breakfast: a cup of milk, how cute and we ran to the store and found something eventually at Macy’s. Sweet. I had 12 expired Macy’s coupons in my wallet. TWELVE. Who does that? No wonder I carry three wallets and they’re all so heavy. Anyways, while I was panicking that I was going to have pay full price ::shudder:: for something at Macy’s, I remembered that I was carrying a Macy’s catalogue in my purse and it had a 20% off coupon. Score. Big neurotic sister to the rescue.

Afterwards, I spent a long @$$ time trying to find a wedding card without the word “love” in it, which is somehow next to impossible, I mean what the hell Hallmark, how hard is it to put a picture of a wedding cake on a card and say “CONGRATUMULATIONS AND STUFF!!!!!!”? Jeebs people, get over yourselves. Somehow, said simple card had a ribbon. Meh. Then, I went to Weight Watchers to weigh in and was pleased to find out that I lost all the bloat/water weight I had gained the previous week. That’s 4lbs of bloat! Sweeeeeeeet.

To help keep that bloat moving on right along, I decided to weed the garden. And let me tell you, crabgrass is the BANE OF MY GARDENING EXISTENCE.  That tenacious weed can put me off gardening forever, for serious. Pulling them $hits out of the ground almost made me dizzy all over again but I refused to let those @$$hole weeds get the better of my IV-nourished body. And I prevailed, muahhahahahahahahaha. As a just reward, I watched three episodes of Drop Dead Diva, one of the best brain candy shows ever. Yep, ever.

I don’t know why but I’ve developed this weird Sunday-night-insomnia. Darnedest thing ever. The night before the workweek starts, I cannot fall asleep for the ever-living reason of I-don’t-know-why. It’s so frustrating, because if I get a good night’s sleep on Sunday night, I can pull all-nighters if I want to the rest of the week and I’m just fine. But oh wells. Since this has been going on for a few weeks (maybe months? I don’t remember), I figured that I may as well be productive while I’m not sleeping. So I spent my entire Sunday doing bushels of laundry and folding it all. And I HATE laundry, with a passion. Yes, I will be a poor housewife. Boohoo. In between all that hateful laundry, I attended a housewarming party and chatted with random strangers online, which is always fun. Stayed up until 2 am folding clothes (after I woke up at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning like a weirdo) and when I finally went to bed, I couldn’t fall asleep until 4 am. Lovely, I know, especially since I have to roll outta bed by 6:30 am. So that whole tire-yourself-out-before-you-go-to-bed thing absolutely doesn’t work for me. Shrug. At least my laundry’s done.

So all of those things are why I didn’t post. And I forgot to do homework for a language class I’m taking because of a Groupon I bought. Sigh, I absolutely bring these things on myself. Aright aright, I’ll get back to work and eventually do the homework, sheesh peoples. Later.


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