October 20, 2011

Women Don’t Talk Right.

So yeah, check this http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/10/four_ways_women_stunt_their_careers.html. I could do an analysis but why should I, when this blog did it already? I have to say, I absolutely AGREE. With the whole women holding themselves back business. Speak up. Promote yourself. Get your biznis noticed. I mean, come on. Nobody else cares about you.

Women being too modest. Hmmm, what would a Muslim chick know about that, anways? Somehow, it all comes back to beliefs. Yes, I believe modesty is important and all that jazz but an even more fundamental tenet of Islam is fulfilling rights. And sometimes, I need to hold other people accountable to make sure they fulfill the rights I have on them. Why should I be so caught up running around making sure things are all dandy for them and not me? Because I’m so nurturingly awesome? Cry me a RIVUH.

The other super thing about being hijabi, in ENGINEERING (God, the lack of women sometimes) is that I can’t blend in. No matter what. Even on the way out, “Oh HijabEng, do you need to use the men’s room?” “Nah, I’m good.” “OMG I’M SO SORRY. I MEANT THE LADIES ROOM. I MEANT THE BATHROOM. I’M SO SORRY.” “WHAAA??? Oooooooooohhhh, HAHA, you said men’s room. No, I’m ok. I don’t need to use ‘the facilities.'”

I did recently have to “speak up” at work and let me tell you, I was TERRIFIED. I almost cried. It was hard, relating what I needed and what wasn’t working for me. But I put on my big girl panties and I’m happy I did it. Things are different now and they would never have been changed if I hadn’t said anything. We all just would have been frustratedconfusedface at each other, and who really needs that? Especially after I finally weighed in after 3 weeks and found out that I gained half a pound and am now 160.X and that is just @#$&%&%^%?????

Peace out.


October 6, 2011

What is it with Women and Weddings?

The object of my scorn? The movie Bride Wars, starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. Nice, over-the-top, cheesy chick flick about competitive bffs who stay as bffs. Cry me a river.

The premise of the movie is that these two best friends have this shared childhood dream of having a June wedding at the Plaza Hotel. As luck would have it, they both get engaged and are accidentally booked to get married at the Plaza in June on the same day. The HORROR. And neither will change their date. So hilarious and vicious pranks ensue. Are most women really that obsessed with their wedding day? Like, you have a dream and YOU MUST FULFILL IT or your whole marriage will collapse if you don’t have the exact shade of lavender plum or whatever bouquet? Is lavender plum even a color? Seriously, WHO CARES? Am I seriously lacking as a person, as a woman, to NOT GIVE A HOOT?

Oddly enough, I was watching this movie with my bff and we laughed and snarked throughout the entire movie but at the end of it, I just had to ask if she has a “dream wedding”. She snorted and said she’d sign the papers and bounce and invited me to be one of her witnesses. That response explains why she’s my bff. I don’t think I’ve ever envisioned my “big day”. I’ve always had trouble thinking about what I’d look like as a bride, what my groom would look like and how the EVENT would happen, so my ideal would just to have everyone over at the mosque and hand out some pizza and call it a day. I do admit to wanting to wear a red sari on my wedding day, which I don’t even have to worry about because my parents have already purchased a red wedding sari for me in the PERFECT RED and some wedding jewelry and people keep giving me red clothes, hoping it’ll impart some GET MARRIED NOW germs on me. Shrug. Me and bff agreed to have a double wedding at a mosque, it’d be so easy, FREE, and plus, it only takes like 5 min for each of us to get married. Maybe we’ll give out cupcakes.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get married but I have to say, the thought of the wedding really stresses me out. To have a gender-separated or mixed wedding, invite coworkers or not, to play music or not (as conservative Muslims consider music to be not permissible due to content and distracting Muslims from the remembrance of God), how to keep my hair covered while wearing head jewelry, how much of my neck and arms am I okay with exposing to display my jewelry, do I wear and turtleneck and boil to death on my wedding day, my parents’ 80 gazillion friends that MUST come as I am the Eldest Child, etc, etc, etc. In my head, I’m all EFF THAT (pardon my French), let’s  just have a mosque wedding, keep it simple, issue an open invitation to everyone, Muslim or not, and whoever cares will show up. The End. Mosques are already gender separated, there’s plenty of room and I can score food on the cheap. It’ll suck for my male coworkers (which is like 90% of my coworkers) and friends but OH WELLS. C’est la vie and tough noogies.

As this is a total non-issue due to my perpetual single status, I’m off the hook. For now. But this is something that needs to be discussed with the guy and if he can stand firm with his family, that’ll be awesome. My sister is pushing for me to get married in a castle, eyeroll, and my parents are under the impression that I’m saving all of my money for my magnificient wedding day, double eyeroll. However, I understand that there is now also a new breed of men known as groomzillas, and Lord help me if that’s who I wind up with.

September 27, 2011

Some Terrible Things

It’s time for a list again, because I like them. Today’s list will be on terrible things.

  1. I wore the same pants two days in a row. And not black pants that nobody would notice you repeating anyway. These are the precious olive pants from my suit that I wore yesterday. My preshussssss. They went too beautifully with a tan kameez with mauve and goldenrod floral print that I just HAD to wear them again. TODAY. Lined pants are still terrible. But pretttttyyyy.
  2. I really cannot focus at work. Or at home. But on the internet, I am a flipping PRO. Too bad that my life doesn’t involve me getting paid and praised for surfing the nets. Too bad. I’ll go cry a river except it would make my face puffier.
  3. Nasal spray is my bestie, for serious. My allergies have gotten so terrible this year (thank you Hurricane Irene), that I now need two nasal sprays. TWO. And one is a STEROID. But I have been slacking off so today, I woke up with a puffy face due to inflamed sinuses that eventually reached to making my eyes swell. So no contacts today. Nerd glasses for the win.
  4. I am excellent at writing letters and emails. Seriously, I am the boss of them. Every letter or email I write is perfection (except for the random missing preposition or letter but who cares). They’re clear, succinct, direct and inoffensive, even when I’m insulting or denying someone. But I just HATE writing them. So, as a minor tip within a list, do not ever let anyone know that you’re good at something you hate. Otherwise, your workload may consist of nothing but emails. EMAILS. UGH.
  5. Why can’t engineers write? People, we all went to school. You can’t coast on your math skills for lyfe. Man up, people.
  6. Wearing 3″ heels for 15 hours straight yesterday was NOT a smart move. Especially since I hadn’t done that in months. I need to ease my knees into that level of patella-dislocating-pain. I should have known better. I could actually feel the uncomfortable sliding of my kneecap while standing or walking. I do these things because I am just emitting pure genius over here. But those purple heels are my lovelies and the stacked heels were comfortable, creepy shifting kneecaps or no. Although, by the end of the night, the balls of my feet were dying but they’re okay today.
  7. I am steadily plowing through my jar of peanut butter at work. It’s the perfect snack – salty and sweet and filling. But when my coworkers find me with a purple or yellow disposal spoon in my mouth every day, that’s really not a professional snack, you know? Also, I’m eating too much peanut butter.
  8. Which reminds me, my lactose-intolerant sister can’t have any of the ghetto alfredo sauce I make (which I’ll get around to posting, eventually) but it occurred to me in a brilliant flash of intuition that I can probably make a peanut butter sauce with soy milk for her pasta. This is beginning to sound yummy. But, this is still terrible because I haven’t made it yet. See? Still fitting with the overall theme.
  9. I found out this morning that my mom has no idea what a 401k is for. She contributed to it nominally but didn’t realize how important it was. She thought that she was going to get at least $1k to $1.5k per month from Social Security. I don’t know where she got this idea from, at all. This is truly terrifying and explains why I am so financially illiterate. When I asked her what did she comprehend from the news saying that Social Security is going implode by 2014 (or whatever the latest prediction is, who knows), she said that she paid into Social Security, so she’s going to get it back. Then she mentioned her pension. Which doesn’t exist. Because she’s not a public employee. Facepalm. I need to have a serious talk with my parents about their future and the sibs on how to support our parents in the future.

Heavy thoughts today, heavy thoughts indeed.

September 21, 2011

I’m a Weirdo

Je ne sais pas, but I definitely have a certain je ne sais quoi. Actually, I could write that whole sentence in French, cuz I’m cool like that. Je ne sais pas mais j’ai un certain je ne sais quoi. Or something like that, high school was a long time ago.

Back to the point, there is just something about me that attracts strange ones like children to ice cream trucks. Maybe I smell like ice cream? I don’t know. But there you have it, I smell like ice cream and my coworkers come up to me randomly throughout the day just to talk. About nothing. While interrupting me and others.

Example Un: A coworker gave me a rock. Yes, a rock. It’s currently keeping a napkin, gum, and white-out company on my desk and occassionally hinders my computer mouse. I don’t know why he gave it to me, he just offered it to me and I didn’t know how to say, “Uh, why exactly are you giving me a rock?” without sounding like a 6itch. He also collects rocks, off beaches and parks and buys them from rock stores. Yes, there are stores apparently where you can go for the sole purpose of buying a rock. And I’m not talking about a souvenir shop where rocks are a side attraction so that parents will be forced to waste money on their kids. Rock. Store. Yes.

Example Deux: Another coworker stopped by to tell me that he problems with his iPhone. Why he thought I would care is beyond me, as I, nor anyone in my family own an iPhone. Or iPod. Or iPad. Or iMac or any sort of iThing whatsoever. And he wasn’t on his way to talk to anyone either, just came to my desk and talked about his issue. And then left. Like, whaaaaaaa?

After the case of Example Deux, I bugged my cubicle neighbor and asked, exactly what is it about me that invites these people? I told him to be honest cuz I just.don’t.get.it. Like whyyyyyyyyyyy. At one point in my career, people used to stop by my desk and talk to me for so long that my supervisors actually spoke to me about it. It actually interfered with my workload! And the offenders were spoken to as well! He said that some people have that something that just draws people in. He doesn’t know what it is, exactly, but it is apparently observable in the 3rd person. Others have mentioned this to me as well. And I’m considered *nice*. And that I have to learn how to be mean to people at work. Oy vey.

And that’s just the dangest thing ever, because I used to have such a hard time in school with friends. People were scared of me and some actually really did not like me because I was loud, blunt and rude. After a while, when they got to know me, they’d say, “Oh, that’s just HijabEng, that’s just the way she is. Once you get to know her, you’ll love her. I used to hate her when I first met her, too.” Ha, that just reminded me that my best friend ever actually hated my guts when we first met. Ha, both of my best friends. Too funny.

And it’s true, I am loud, blunt and rude. I tell it how I see it, no filter, no way, no how. Shrug. I suppose in a floor of engineers, maybe I am nice? It’s prolly cuz I have a higher pitched voice. I should work on having a permanent cold to maintain my sexay-man-voice. Next project, perhaps.

September 15, 2011

I Wear Gym Socks with Heels

Yes, yes I indeed do. Strange, isn’t it, in a world where women debate as to whether trouser socks are appropriate with heels or flats (and why wouldn’t they be), I wear straight up thick gym socks, with my heels, and not for stretching out the shoes.

Why? Because, while I hate wearing socks, I hate the feel of shoes against my bare feet. And I had to go to the field earlier this week, so I had to be in sneakers part of the day, too. So I had to compromise somewhere, I wasn’t about to wear trouser socks with sneakers. My foot would just get slick and weird from sweating too much with the trouser sock/sneaker combo. Uh, no thanks.

So, I’m sure you’re asking, what on earth did she wear to the office that day, with her whole gym socks, sneakers and heels situation? What outfit could possibly be ok with all that jazz going on? Well, if you weren’t wondering, I’m sure you are now. I wore a simple tunic top, or kameez, with wide-legged black pants. Black sneakers for commuting (which I should review one day, I looooovvve my commuting sneakers) and switched to black pumps in the office. A kameez with dress pants is a typical in-the-office workday outfit for me, which I wouldn’t ordinarily wear to the field but I knew I was going to be in the car the entire time. If walking around a site were required, I might have worn pants I cared less about, perhaps.

I was going to take a photo of this awesomeness but I forgot, I shall have to recreate the scenario for you. Just imagine, black gym socks turned gray from repeated washing, stuffed into sleek black heels with tapered square toe box and stacked 3″ heels. Yummy, I know. Try not to choke on the jealous ;).

September 12, 2011

I Accidentally Lit a Napkin on Fire

Filed under: I'm a Weirdo,rambling,Work — hijabeng @ 1:00 pm
Tags: , , ,

Or, Toaster Ovens are Dangerous. Dangerousssssss.

So my mommy made me a breakfast sandwich this morning (be jealousss, haterz) and I brought it to work with me, since I didn’t feel consuming the egg-in-a-bagel while commuting. We have a toaster oven at the office, so I just popped it in there while I continued on to my desk, signed in and did some randomness at my desk. I return to my sandwich and I’m faced with a dilemma – sandwich is too hot for me to retrieve. So I stick my napkin in there to grab my sandwich. And napkin ignites. IGNITES!!!!

A piece of napkin broke off and continues to dance in flames while the flaming napkin in my hand quickly gets tossed in the sink, and gets drowned posthaste. The in-toaster-oven napkin burns itself to death and I patiently use another napkin to grab my sandwich. This time, it only gets charred and I was off to enjoy my delicious sandwich. Thankfully, the silly exploding napkin didn’t ignite my sandwich. That would have seriously made me sadface.

Moral of the story: I’m a hazard. The end.

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